0:00:00.080,0:00:05.680
things very differently. My son is now 26. I have 
a 12-year-old. I do things very differently with

0:00:05.680,0:00:10.640
my 12-year-old than I did with my 26 year old. 
And I bring her more into the process than I than

0:00:10.640,0:00:14.320
I did my son. I had to apologize to my son. 
We actually use my son as a sounding board,

0:00:14.320,0:00:17.920
why we were writing the curriculum because 
we want to know like his experience,

0:00:17.920,0:00:22.720
what would have made it better for him. And so 
that's kind of where this comes from and then why

0:00:22.720,0:00:29.440
we do things the way we do. So that's a little 
bit about this. So we're going to start with

0:00:30.800,0:00:34.880
some breakup questions. So, you all are kind of 
already at tables, but can you all kind of get

0:00:34.880,0:00:39.840
together? Maybe you all go together and then 
you all go together. Um, we're going to just

0:00:39.840,0:00:45.280
have some discussions. And the first question 
is, what did you think life would look like

0:00:45.280,0:00:50.560
when your family started? You all have paper on 
your tables and I want you all to either draw

0:00:50.560,0:00:54.960
out what your what you thought your family would 
look like or write words down and just put it on

0:00:54.960,0:01:11.680
that on that white piece of paper as a group. So 
you can work together and do that on your table.

0:01:11.680,0:01:19.280
Yeah. Was it going to be like

0:01:19.280,0:01:23.280
2.5 children white events going to 
football games together? What did

0:01:23.280,0:01:26.640
you think it was going to look 
like? Words and then pictures.

0:01:34.240,0:01:55.280
Please

0:01:55.280,0:02:10.160
stay together.

0:02:10.160,0:02:19.600
Start

0:02:19.600,0:02:22.640
again.

0:02:36.080,0:02:48.880
order at least two lunches a week.

0:03:15.680,0:03:17.520
Just take the rolls.

0:03:27.280,0:03:38.000
All right, let's see what you all have on 
here. What do you all have written down?

0:03:38.000,0:03:44.080
Sports and regular playdates and 
do things together and be happy.

0:03:44.080,0:03:55.440
Yeah. Yeah. Everybody. Yeah. How 
about you guys? Happy happymal

0:03:55.440,0:04:01.040
experiences the anticipation of Yeah. All the 
fun things. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Is that what

0:04:01.040,0:04:09.040
your family looks like? No. No. That's kind of my 
family looks like. I can tell you that. How hard

0:04:09.040,0:04:17.680
was that for you guys to have a grieving of loss 
of plans for your family? Is that hard? continual

0:04:17.680,0:04:23.040
as fast as anybody still going through that. I 
think with each each milestone, each diagnosis,

0:04:23.040,0:04:28.080
each new realization, like what's next? We 
go through that grieving process of like it's

0:04:28.080,0:04:33.600
going to be heavy, damn it. Right? And that 
is kind of where people get stuck sometimes

0:04:33.600,0:04:39.440
in that grieving of loss. Oh, this is so hard. 
But we want to like not be stuck there. Yes,

0:04:39.440,0:04:44.080
grieve it. Yes, process it. Don't skip 
over that part. Just don't stay stuck

0:04:44.080,0:04:49.680
there. And that's what we're going to 
talk about a lot today. All right. So,

0:04:49.680,0:04:55.280
our families are unique. Would everybody agree 
with that? Yes, we are. They are very unique.

0:04:55.280,0:05:01.680
All right. Tell me out. Yell out. What are 
the things that make your family unique?

0:05:01.680,0:05:07.200
I feel like everybody knows my son. 
Okay. Compared to my other kids. So,

0:05:07.200,0:05:13.200
how many children do you have? Three. 
They're Henry's brother or sister. Okay. So,

0:05:13.200,0:05:17.040
you have one gets a lot of attention in the 
family. That is something that is unique,

0:05:17.040,0:05:28.160
especially these families. What 
else makes your family unique?

0:05:28.160,0:05:34.160
So, you're unique, but you don't know why. We 
have four boys, so our house is crazy. It's just

0:05:34.160,0:05:43.360
wild all the time. Okay. What makes it unique from 
somebody you had for typical similar usually the

0:05:43.360,0:05:50.320
attention is focused on us. We're in the hospital 
all the time. I'll be there all weekend. Like I

0:05:50.320,0:05:55.600
I live a different world and have one crying as 
I'm walking out the door. Don't leave me. Mommy,

0:05:55.600,0:06:00.000
don't leave. Yeah, it's different, right? 
Our family is basically a second home. The

0:06:00.000,0:06:07.440
hospital is a second home. Yeah. Unfortunately, 
not one not one I want, but yes, it is a lot.

0:06:07.440,0:06:11.600
So even though we think like our family is the 
only one that's unique around us, if we really

0:06:11.600,0:06:15.920
think about each family is really unique whether 
they have typical children or special needs

0:06:15.920,0:06:22.240
children because there's different experiences 
that change like how we make decisions, different

0:06:22.240,0:06:27.920
backgrounds that we have. Every family really 
is unique. And if we think about just lumping

0:06:27.920,0:06:33.440
ourselves in that category, it kind of makes it 
easier. Yes, our family's unique, but so is our

0:06:33.440,0:06:37.680
neighbors. It's unique from ours. There's things 
that they go through that the neighbor on the

0:06:37.680,0:06:42.400
other side of them don't go through. Like every 
family really is unique and they have different

0:06:42.400,0:06:47.040
circumstances. They make different decisions, have 
different life experiences that make their family

0:06:47.040,0:06:51.840
unique. So let's put oursel in that category for a 
minute. Okay, let's think about how we are unique,

0:06:51.840,0:06:57.040
but everybody is unique. All right, so on your 
table, everybody should have a piece of paper.

0:06:57.040,0:07:02.400
If you don't, you go back to the table and get one 
with a chart on it. And we're going to think about

0:07:02.400,0:07:07.920
the different ways that our family is unique. 
So on the first column, not the one with the pie

0:07:07.920,0:07:15.120
chart, the one with the the graph, the grid. I'm 
not using my words today. It's a very long day.

0:07:15.120,0:07:20.640
So I want you to write everybody's name and your 
family in the first column. Go ahead and do that.

0:07:20.640,0:07:29.440
And then right next to that, you're going to write 
a unique quality that they have that you may not

0:07:29.440,0:07:45.280
think is a positive quality, but think about 
something that unique about each person you're

0:08:30.000,0:08:36.000
All

0:08:44.000,0:08:46.800
right, you all can finish this 
at home if you extra time for it,

0:08:46.800,0:08:50.000
but let's hear a couple of them. What 
are some of the unique qualities you

0:08:50.000,0:08:56.000
all have? What's in that second second row? 
Second column. Someone in my in my family

0:08:56.000,0:09:01.840
is always motivated to do things. Okay. 
motivated to accomplish. Is that right?

0:09:01.840,0:09:14.000
Yes. Does not stop. Okay. Levelheaded. Wow. 
We need one of those in my family. Go ahead.

0:09:14.000,0:09:18.640
Great. Oh, that's good.

0:09:18.640,0:09:28.480
Oh, we all need one of those. Not 
bad. Anybody else? High quality.

0:09:37.360,0:09:41.680
Okay. All right. So, if we think about each 
person having unique qualities in our family

0:09:41.680,0:09:45.760
and everybody has positive qualities, how 
often are we like speaking life into those

0:09:45.760,0:09:50.640
qualities? How often do we do that? We think we 
say like one every negative we say to our kids,

0:09:50.640,0:09:56.160
we should be saying 10 positive things. Are we 
doing that? Are we doing that with our spouse? And

0:09:56.160,0:10:02.320
the more that we are seeking to our children and 
in our home, the more they will step into that.

0:10:02.320,0:10:06.080
Like if you're always like so frustrated with 
your child for doing all these things, they're

0:10:06.080,0:10:10.240
going to lean into that more and more and more and 
more and more. Whereas if we're speaking life into

0:10:10.240,0:10:15.040
the positive attributes of them that make them 
unique, that make them who they are, then they

0:10:15.040,0:10:19.920
are going to step into that more and more and more 
and more. So let's be thinking about that as we're

0:10:19.920,0:10:24.480
thinking about each child and each member of our 
family being unique. And when you list that, don't

0:10:24.480,0:10:29.680
forget to add yourself and your spouse if you're 
married on that form too. So that we are also

0:10:29.680,0:10:34.880
doing that not just for our kids, but for every 
member in our home. So like we have four adults

0:10:34.880,0:10:39.760
that live in our home. My parents live with us. I 
need to make sure I'm doing that for everybody in

0:10:39.760,0:10:48.960
our home. So that we are having that positive 
atmosphere. All right, we're going to go on to

0:10:48.960,0:10:55.440
Sorry. I have one over there, too. All right. 
important. My family is important and each

0:10:55.440,0:11:01.280
member is equally important in this family. 
We feel like that you think all of our kids

0:11:01.280,0:11:08.160
feel like that. I know my son did not growing 
up. I know he did not feel as important as my

0:11:08.160,0:11:14.880
daughter who I was spending all the time with in 
the hospital and man I regret that. So each member

0:11:14.880,0:11:19.840
of our family is an important part each member 
is important part of our family. Our family is

0:11:19.840,0:11:26.720
an important part of the community. Who feels 
like is really important part of the community.

0:11:26.720,0:11:31.120
Your family is an important part of your 
community. And I hate that we don't all

0:11:31.120,0:11:36.160
feel like that we are supported by our community. 
But the more that we are teaching that to our kids

0:11:36.160,0:11:41.120
and speaking that in our homes, they are going 
to feel like they are an important part of your

0:11:41.120,0:11:44.560
whether they're being treated however they're 
being treated by the outsiders or not. You know

0:11:44.560,0:11:50.160
that your your family is being watched by members 
of your community and how you're handling things.

0:11:50.160,0:11:55.680
So much try to put on this pedestal that people 
are watching how we're handling things. And the

0:11:55.680,0:12:01.200
more that we can step into that our family is 
important, we're going to be here, people are

0:12:01.200,0:12:05.440
going to notice that. And whether you think you're 
having that kind of impact or not, you really,

0:12:05.440,0:12:11.520
really are. There's a great opportunity here for 
you to be that example in your community. Typical

0:12:11.520,0:12:18.800
siblings need to see their role as important, 
too. So, how much are we bringing children into

0:12:18.800,0:12:22.720
the process of the special needs journey? How 
much do we invite them in? Or, man, it's just

0:12:22.720,0:12:26.880
faster for me to do it myself. I'm just going to 
get it done. Just stop, go over there. I am really

0:12:26.880,0:12:31.520
guilty of that because it's much easier for me 
just to get it done. There's so much on my to-do

0:12:31.520,0:12:36.400
list. But when we stop and let them be a part of 
the special needs journey, then they feel like an

0:12:36.400,0:12:42.960
important part in a team and what you're working 
on. And so, it's a completely different mindset.

0:12:42.960,0:12:48.400
This is an example of I'm giving my daughter an 
infusion, a blood clotting infusion here and my

0:12:48.400,0:12:52.080
younger daughter's in the background. She has 
her fake doctor kit with all the needles taken

0:12:52.080,0:12:59.760
out and she's given dad an infusion. And that is 
one way for us to kind of normalize um medical

0:12:59.760,0:13:05.840
stuff in our family, but then also let her be a 
part of the process. And I wish I done this with

0:13:05.840,0:13:10.800
my with my son, but it makes it so that she's 
not like jealous of Selia sitting there getting

0:13:10.800,0:13:15.280
the attention. My older daughter infusing that 
one-on-one time with mom. Now she's getting that

0:13:15.280,0:13:19.760
one-on-one time with dad and she gets to pretend 
just like mommy did. She didn't be like mommy. And

0:13:19.760,0:13:25.440
so thinking of like out of the box ways that we 
can bring all the siblings into the special needs

0:13:25.440,0:13:32.080
journey or process is really really important 
and it helps them to be part of the team and not

0:13:32.080,0:13:38.800
an outside of this child who's getting all this 
attention. And then another really good example

0:13:38.800,0:13:49.120
is to um do special things for them to make them 
feel important. So an example of it is I have a a

0:13:49.120,0:13:53.680
scarf that's just for my daughter and when I have 
to go to the hospital in an emergency, I'll spray

0:13:53.680,0:13:59.680
my perfume on it and I'll go lay it if it's at 
night. I'll lay it in her room and she sleeps

0:13:59.680,0:14:05.840
with that when I'm gone. Or I'll hide a gift 
for her in the house and I will be like, "Hey,

0:14:05.840,0:14:09.440
I'm gonna give you some clues where your gift 
is." Like, I do that ahead of time so that she

0:14:09.440,0:14:14.960
doesn't feel like she's just deserted and left. 
There's things that make her feel special and a

0:14:14.960,0:14:20.080
part of that process instead of just kind of out 
in the cold and mom gets gets all the attention to

0:14:20.080,0:14:24.720
to my sister. And so, be thinking about ways that 
you can do that. What are some things you can do

0:14:24.720,0:14:29.200
while you're at therapy with your child? Can you 
arrange for your siblings the siblings to be have

0:14:29.200,0:14:33.840
a special outing with friends or grandparents or 
what can you do? What can you do to make them feel

0:14:33.840,0:14:38.080
like they have that time? Can you add something 
to the calendar with your typical children to say,

0:14:38.080,0:14:42.160
"Okay, once a month you and me, we're going to 
do something by yourself. Let's set a date. You

0:14:42.160,0:14:46.880
get to you get to choose what we're going to go do 
and we're going to do it." It could be a 10-minute

0:14:46.880,0:14:51.760
walk around the block by themselves. It could 
be going out for ice cream. It could be going to

0:14:51.760,0:14:56.000
Huffer Rocks. Whatever your your typical children 
are in, like is there something on the calendar,

0:14:56.000,0:15:02.320
even if just once a quarter that you're doing 
to just for them? Something I started about

0:15:02.320,0:15:07.280
three years ago is I go on a trip a year with 
one child by themselves. Now, this is easier if

0:15:07.280,0:15:11.040
you're older. I'm not saying this is feasible when 
your children are young because I don't think it

0:15:11.040,0:15:15.760
would have been when my children were young. But 
just for a couple of days, I take one child away

0:15:15.760,0:15:20.480
out of town by themselves. And I'm telling you, 
they cannot wait for it to be their turn. Like,

0:15:20.480,0:15:26.320
they enjoy that time so much. And each child 
opens up to me so much when it's just me and

0:15:26.320,0:15:31.520
them. And it's just a sweet, sweet time. So, just 
think of ways that you can spend one-on-one time

0:15:31.520,0:15:36.880
with each child, even if it's once a year, even 
if it's not very often. Put it on the calendar.

0:15:36.880,0:15:40.720
Give them something to look forward to to know 
that I'm going to get mom or dad's undivided

0:15:40.720,0:15:45.920
attention at that time. And that will help 
reduce that tension. Y'all have tension in your

0:15:45.920,0:15:52.720
home with your siblings and special needs kiddos. 
There's some jealousy there. There is in my house,

0:15:52.720,0:15:56.720
I tell you that. And so, it's not going 
to remove it all together. But if we can

0:15:56.720,0:16:02.080
really work on these things together and put some 
thought into it, I know it's just one more thing,

0:16:02.080,0:16:06.240
man, how different your home will be when when 
these things all come together. It's really,

0:16:06.240,0:16:10.720
really cool. All right, so now we are going to 
look at your chart again and you're going to

0:16:10.720,0:16:17.680
look at the important role that each family 
member plays. And it doesn't have to be all

0:16:17.680,0:16:23.840
around the special needs journey, but but what 
is an important role they play in your family?

0:17:54.960,0:18:04.400
All right. What's What's some of 
the roles in your family? Anybody

0:18:04.400,0:18:06.160
want to share what they have? Somebody's got

0:18:06.160,0:18:15.760
to keep the wheels on. Yes. 
Somebody's got to keep peace.

0:18:15.760,0:18:17.760
Hopefully. Hope Yeah. You have at least one of

0:18:17.760,0:18:28.080
those in the house. Yeah. What 
are some other important roles?

0:18:32.160,0:18:37.760
What about your kiddos? Let's hear some the 
children have your I bet that my youngest

0:18:37.760,0:18:47.440
reminds us to have fun. Yes. And be a kid. Have 
fun. Absolutely. I was going to say about my son.

0:18:47.440,0:18:54.720
Tensions are high. There's that one kid that can 
only make you laugh. Do you praise him for it?

0:18:54.720,0:19:00.240
Awesome. That's awesome. That's what they need. 
They need they need that that again speaking life

0:19:00.240,0:19:04.880
and and know that what their role is is bringing 
value to the table. If they just know that their

0:19:04.880,0:19:10.240
humor is like valuable to your family, they'll 
step into that more and more and more. That's

0:19:10.240,0:19:16.320
really really great. Okay. So, my encouragement to 
you is to keep adding to this list. Take it home

0:19:16.320,0:19:23.200
with you and be watching for ways over this next 
week or so. Well, over the next four weeks really,

0:19:23.200,0:19:27.760
it takes a while to develop a habit. And how 
many times throughout the day can you sprinkle

0:19:27.760,0:19:33.840
in speaking life of these positive things that 
you see in your family and how much that's going

0:19:33.840,0:19:37.760
to change the tone of your home and to do it 
for a month. Be really intentional to do it for

0:19:37.760,0:19:42.240
a month and see the differences that it makes 
in your home. When I'm intentional to do this,

0:19:42.240,0:19:47.120
it makes a big difference. Now, when there's chaos 
and and there's crisis and I don't do this very

0:19:47.120,0:19:52.320
well being honest, but when I come back and I and 
things settle a little bit and I can focus on it

0:19:52.320,0:20:00.000
more, it really does change the whole tone of our 
home. It behaviors of my children. It changes um

0:20:00.000,0:20:05.600
closeness with my spouse. Like it really does make 
a big difference if we're working really hard to

0:20:05.600,0:20:13.680
speak life in positive ways. And then add to that 
list, be watching for things that are evidence of

0:20:13.680,0:20:19.520
you having these these children and spouses with 
these great qualities. Like sometimes what we do,

0:20:19.520,0:20:24.240
especially when we're under a lot of stress, is 
we there's something that's negative. Okay. Now,

0:20:24.240,0:20:29.520
we're going to look for ev back that up. My child 
is defiant. I'm going to look for evidence to back

0:20:29.520,0:20:34.720
that up. I'm gonna get on him every single time 
he's defiant. Well, what if the truth against

0:20:34.720,0:20:41.120
that is that um my child listens and he follows 
instructions and we're looking for evidence

0:20:41.120,0:20:45.520
to back that up and we're praising that child. 
Every time we see something little bitty small,

0:20:45.520,0:20:50.480
it's like I never see something positive out of 
that child. The smallest thing, praise them for

0:20:50.480,0:20:54.640
that. And again, they will step into that more and 
more and more as we are speaking life and our All

0:20:56.720,0:21:03.600
right. How many people are familiar with love 
languages? Five love languages. Do we know what

0:21:03.600,0:21:09.360
every love language is of every member of our 
family? Do you know what changes over time? So,

0:21:09.360,0:21:13.360
what you thought might be your love language for 
your child two years from now may not be their

0:21:13.360,0:21:20.560
love language. I um want to give you just a little 
example of this. My son was about 11 years old. We

0:21:20.560,0:21:23.600
were riding the car and every couple years I would 
ask my kids, "Hey, what's your love language?"

0:21:23.600,0:21:26.800
He's like, "Oh, well, give me get tell me what 
they are again. I'll let you know what they are."

0:21:26.800,0:21:31.280
So, I started going through the list. I'm like, 
"Well, it's active service. It's gifts. It's

0:21:31.280,0:21:37.360
quality time. It's um what is the other one? What 
is the other one? Where is the other one?" And I

0:21:37.360,0:21:42.240
went He's like, "I couldn't think of what what the 
last one was." And he's like, "It's not it's none

0:21:42.240,0:21:46.480
of those, Mom. It took me a good two minutes to 
figure Oh, words of affirmation." He's like, "Yes,

0:21:46.480,0:21:53.280
that's what it is." Y'all, it was not even on my 
radar. I have it as an option for my child to like

0:21:53.280,0:21:58.720
it as a choice. In fact, this is love language. 
I was missing it. I was missing the way that my

0:21:58.720,0:22:03.840
child felt loved. I was show it to them in the 
way that I felt loved. He did not feel loved by

0:22:03.840,0:22:10.720
that. And so, if we want to show our family that 
they are important, we need to speak in their love

0:22:10.720,0:22:16.560
language. And so, on your sheet, um there is a 
form and I want you all to write in the blanks

0:22:16.560,0:22:43.360
where you think your family members fall, what 
their love language is. Include yourself in that.

0:23:24.160,0:23:28.240
Okay. So, as you all are working on 
those, I would encourage you that even

0:23:28.240,0:23:31.840
if you think you know exactly what your love 
language is for every member of your family,

0:23:31.840,0:23:36.800
please ask them and go over that at some point 
in the next week because it might have changed.

0:23:36.800,0:23:41.280
It might not be what you think it is. I need to 
do it's a good reminder for me. I need to do that

0:23:41.280,0:23:46.160
with my children now where I haven't done that in 
a while. So, I'm just checking back in with them.

0:23:46.160,0:23:51.840
I know that my love language has changed even 
as an adult over the past two years. And so,

0:23:51.840,0:23:58.000
I know if I'm changing, my children 
certainly are changing that. All right,

0:23:58.000,0:24:01.360
we're going to go on to being beneficial 
and powerful. Who ever thought about their

0:24:01.360,0:24:08.720
family being beneficial and powerful? 
Are there benefits to the special dream?

0:24:10.560,0:24:16.320
You better believe it. There's some beauty 
among these ashes, y'all. There are some really

0:24:16.320,0:24:23.360
key things about being a social media family. 
So, how about kindness, compassion, patience,

0:24:23.360,0:24:29.040
caring? These are all things that all of your 
children have learned that people with typical

0:24:29.040,0:24:33.440
children, they have to really work at teaching 
their children these things. And that is kind of

0:24:33.440,0:24:38.160
ingrained and built in. And even if there's 
sibling rivalry, they're still learning how

0:24:38.160,0:24:43.680
to be all of these things like way more 
than people with typical children. So that

0:24:43.680,0:24:50.640
is definitely one of those beauties among seeing 
obstacles as opportunities benefits our family.

0:24:50.640,0:24:55.920
How much character building opportunities do 
you have in your home in a week? So I'm like,

0:24:55.920,0:25:01.520
Lord, please I don't want need more character 
building for a while for a little bit. But man,

0:25:01.520,0:25:06.800
we have these opportunities to grow and people 
all the time. I don't know how you do it. I don't

0:25:06.800,0:25:12.800
know how you do it. Am I sick of hearing that? 
Yes, I am, too. I'm like, there's no choice. I

0:25:12.800,0:25:19.200
would choose to not do this if I didn't have to do 
this. Of course, people see a strength in you that

0:25:19.200,0:25:24.080
they don't have themselves that honestly can't 
be built any other way. That is a beauty among

0:25:24.080,0:25:30.800
these ashes. That is that is a character built 
through experiences that we have the benefit of.

0:25:30.800,0:25:35.760
And our children, all of our children have that 
benefit. That that is definitely something that

0:25:35.760,0:25:47.840
makes us powerful. What are some benefits 
that you all have seen as a special needs?

0:25:47.840,0:25:53.040
Here's that mind shift. It's going from, oh, this 
is so hard for the shift of, okay, how can we use

0:25:53.040,0:25:58.160
these obstacles, opportunities? How can we make 
how can we find those beauties? How can we have

0:25:58.160,0:26:03.520
a posture of gratitude even in the heart? You 
don't have to be thankful for the hard thing,

0:26:03.520,0:26:10.080
but if if you're thankful in it, it will change 
the temperature of your home. It will change

0:26:10.080,0:26:17.920
the attitude of your whole family. I like the 
different perspective that you get just from being

0:26:17.920,0:26:24.240
a special needs parent, but then also experience 
experiencing it with your other neurotypical

0:26:24.240,0:26:32.880
children um or not, you know, children that aren't 
special needs. Um just trying to kind of see the

0:26:32.880,0:26:39.120
perspectives from the two like um me and my sister 
were talking earlier. There's a kid in my son's

0:26:39.120,0:26:46.640
class who's nonverbal and he's been like holding 
his hand all the time and he had he's nonverbal

0:26:46.640,0:26:51.840
but he was he made a noise during the moment 
of silence and my son was like man we lost our

0:26:51.840,0:26:57.200
stars because he made a noise during the moment 
of silence and my sister was like they should

0:26:57.200,0:27:05.520
be praising him. He he spoke like he was making 
noises and she was like, "It's so funny how we um

0:27:05.520,0:27:11.440
get so excited about things that other people take 
for granted or they're or they get in trouble for,

0:27:11.440,0:27:16.640
you know, it's just a different perspective." It 
is. Yep. Or maybe even saying inappropriate words,

0:27:16.640,0:27:20.240
right? Like we've got some students that they 
don't speak and they finally speak. They may have

0:27:20.240,0:27:27.440
said something inappropriate. We're like, "You 
spoke. Don't say that. Nobody else feel right

0:27:27.440,0:27:35.040
now. Like she said with her son. Um you know 
like the first time he splashed in the tub cuz

0:27:35.040,0:27:42.480
he was so has such an aversion to splashing and 
water getting on him that she was like yes make

0:27:42.480,0:27:48.800
a mess. Make a mess. Do it. So we're celebrating 
the simple things that a lot of people take for

0:27:48.800,0:27:53.600
granted. That's the beauty when they have or even 
the things that people may find inappropriate or

0:27:54.240,0:27:59.200
not acceptable and need to celebrate that. How 
many of you all have helped another special

0:27:59.200,0:28:05.360
needs family that's not as far down the journey 
as you all answer questions about medical stuff

0:28:05.360,0:28:11.760
referrals for um doctors or therapists or what to 
do with your insurance? How many people that most

0:28:11.760,0:28:19.280
people here people come to you for advice that be 
on your ashes? The opportunity for relationship

0:28:19.280,0:28:25.040
your experiences in a positive way. Absolutely. 
And so if we sit in that posture of gratitude and

0:28:25.040,0:28:33.520
look for the positives instead of dwelling on the 
negatives that will overflow onto your children

0:28:33.520,0:28:38.640
that has such an impact. All right, 
we're going to go on to this family

0:28:38.640,0:28:45.760
is mine. I'm going to claim it. 
It is mine and we are a team.

0:28:45.760,0:28:52.160
So I really encourage you all to have a family 
motto. If your faith is important to you,

0:28:52.160,0:28:59.600
claim a Bible verse. If um you can do a 
code of arms that represents your family,

0:28:59.600,0:29:06.240
something that your team can rally around to say, 
"We are in this together. It is not us versus

0:29:06.240,0:29:11.280
them. It is not typical versus special needs. 
It's not parents against children. We are a team.

0:29:11.280,0:29:18.560
Whoever is in your home, we are going to be a team 
in this together." And this is our family motto.

0:29:18.560,0:29:24.000
Speak life, love heart, live victoriously. And 
we try to live this every day that speak life

0:29:24.000,0:29:28.880
hard is important because obviously people have 
words of affirmation as their love language in

0:29:28.880,0:29:33.200
my family. It is not my love language. I have to 
work really hard at it. But I'm going to work at

0:29:33.200,0:29:38.320
speaking life and love even when it's hard. 
We're going to live victoriously and have a

0:29:38.320,0:29:44.560
great family life as a result. And I have this up 
in our home. I I focus on it. So what is something

0:29:44.560,0:29:50.240
your family can do? Come up with a team name. 
Come up with that you all can rally around and

0:29:50.240,0:29:55.440
have your children be involved in it. Like um for 
us, faith is very important to us. So we have a

0:29:55.440,0:30:00.960
family Bible merch that we actually have tattoos 
on our body. So that's a fun 18year-old thing to

0:30:00.960,0:30:08.000
go do with our nation. But I'm just throwing 
out what we do. I'm not saying go get tatto.

0:30:08.000,0:30:14.400
So what you're saying is next month we have 
to have a tattoo. I mean, but I chose three

0:30:14.400,0:30:19.680
and the children. I let them choose. And so their 
family like be a part of this process. What can

0:30:19.680,0:30:24.080
you do as a team so that they don't feel like oh 
you're just throwing this on me? Bring them into

0:30:24.080,0:30:29.360
that process too and let everybody be a part of 
the conversation. And so when we can really work

0:30:29.360,0:30:35.120
together in this our family as a team this will 
change I keep saying the temperature of your home

0:30:35.120,0:30:42.080
and we have the power to be the thermostat. We 
are not the thermometer. We do not get to the

0:30:42.080,0:30:47.120
the circumstances in our family doesn't dictate 
the temperature of your home. You choose the

0:30:47.120,0:30:53.280
temperature and the mood and the joy level in your 
home. So, choose to take that control and view the

0:30:53.280,0:31:02.000
thermostat and we can all work together. We're 
going to um you all can register for critically

0:31:02.000,0:31:06.640
love. If you all want to get connected with 
us, you can scan the QR code. We have a lot

0:31:06.640,0:31:11.680
of events to connect families to each other. This 
is Miss Evers. Is one of our board of directors

0:31:11.680,0:31:16.320
that's been there from the beginning. kind of 
roped her in a long time ago and said, "Hey,

0:31:16.320,0:31:22.080
come do this. Do this with me." Um, Jennifer has 
actually repelled off of a building for us. Uh,

0:31:22.080,0:31:26.880
the little slugger we've done twice, not once, 
but twice. She has done that. Yeah. Did it for

0:31:26.880,0:31:30.960
us. But we everything that we do is at no cost 
to families. Gosh, I should have brought you

0:31:30.960,0:31:36.320
all some medical binders. Oh, I can get you guys 
some. Yeah. Um, so we have some medical binders

0:31:36.320,0:31:40.240
that help organize a child's healthcare and just 
give you like tips of things that took me about

0:31:40.240,0:31:45.600
10 years to figure out from practically, but we 
have support groups that we have throughout the

0:31:45.600,0:31:50.720
year. So if you register with us, you'll just be 
notified whenever we have offerings. We do a um

0:31:50.720,0:31:56.640
like a special needs mom's night out where we do 
professional massages, dinners, desserts. Have

0:31:56.640,0:32:01.360
you been to to that? Yeah. Do you want to tell 
them about that night? Yeah, I had the greatest

0:32:01.360,0:32:07.840
massage. That was probably my favorite. and we, 
you know, ate and got to meet other moms and it

0:32:07.840,0:32:12.560
was just a sweet little night. We have a we have 
a spa room, craft room and so that's a really fun

0:32:12.560,0:32:17.360
thing we do twice a year. We have a family picnic 
usually once a year. So we just have a lot of

0:32:17.360,0:32:21.760
offerings throughout the year to help you connect 
with other families and there's never any cost. We

0:32:21.760,0:32:27.200
always eat food and it's just a great great way to 
like take a breath and just be like I don't have

0:32:27.200,0:32:31.840
to worry about something for a couple hours. We 
would like you to come and rear that. And then we

0:32:31.840,0:32:37.120
also have professional counseling grants available 
if your child needs a different kind of therapy,

0:32:37.120,0:32:41.440
maybe not covered insurance and apply with that 
for us. It's on freeze right now, but we hope to

0:32:41.440,0:32:46.000
open it up very very soon. We're close. We've had 
some depleted funds from that for a while, but we

0:32:46.000,0:32:50.560
are we are getting refunded for that. So, that's 
really good to know. And then I'm always happy to

0:32:50.560,0:32:57.040
meet with you oneonone. You can grab lunch or have 
a Zoom call. I'm happy to point you to resources,

0:32:57.040,0:33:07.280
answer questions that you have. Always happy to do 
that for you. Do y'all have any questions for me?

0:33:07.280,0:33:10.320
Everybody's all good. Everybody's 
everybody challenged with some things

0:33:10.320,0:33:14.480
to to do differently now this week. 
I am too. So, I am preaching myself

0:33:14.480,0:33:22.000
right here. It's just good reminder for 
for all of us. Thank you guys for having